Prepare yourself to meet a Pirate.

by pollyparadice

Beware traveler’s there are a few laws and norms you should know about before embarking on the alternative Melbourne experience. When finding yourself the best brew of coffee at your own ‘local’, you must know that anywhere you go in Melbourne you are always going to run into people cooler than you. Sorry to burst your bubble but Melbournians seek out places that make them feel subordinate to the staff. You’ll always find the dark bearded, slightly rustled looking waiter who will ignore you until you’ve acknowledge how carelessly fashionable he is. “They want to see that air of disdain from the barista when approaching the counter and they crave those feelings of inadequacy that come from being silently eyeballed by patrons with trendier haircuts as they do a masochistic walk of shame through the cafe while groveling in front of the register, ingratiatingly ordering a coffee ‘if it’s not too much trouble’.” Melbournians can’t wait to complain about it later or be seen drinking from the ever so carefully culturally marked paper cup. Your marked cup is your visa which expires as soon as you finished your drink.

Also keep in mind that:

  • It’s an offence to drive a dog or goat harnessed or attached to a vehicle in a public place (Summary Offences Act 1966)
  • If you meet up with a pirate – do not trade with them (Crimes Act 1958)- My absolute favourite.
  • Be careful with choosing and hanging out with friends – being found in the company, consorting, or occupy a house frequented by reputed thieves can land you in hot water. (Vagrancy Act 1966)
  • Flying kites or playing a game in public which annoys another person (Summary Offences Act 1966)
  • Sing an obscene song, tune or ballad within earshot of someone (Summary Offences Act 1966)
  • Advertise a reward for the return of lost or stolen goods stating that no questions will be asked. (Crimes Act 1958)
  • Have an article of disguise without a lawful excuse. (Vagrancy Act 1966)
  • Leave a motor vehicle unattended with keys in ignition, motor running or doors unlocked. (Road Safety Regulations 1999)
  • Carry out unauthorized rain making operations – that is the ‘seeding or nucleating of clouds by artificial means from a manned aircraft’. (Rain making Control Act 1966)

Yes I believe these to be outdated but these are the laws are what shaped Melbourne living maybe even shaped our rebellion of fashion and maybe why everyone cool can be compared to looking like a pirate…

A few more laws just for a laugh:

  • It is illegal to roam the streets wearing black clothes, felt shoes and have black shoe polish on your face as these are the items of an cat burglar.
  • Taxi cabs are required to carry a bale of hay in the trunk.
  • In Victoria, it is illegal to wear hot pink shorts after midday on a Sunday.
  • You may never leave your car keys in an unattended vehicle.
  • You must have a neck to knee swimsuit in order to swim at Brighton Beach.

http://stuffwhitepeoplelikeinmelbourne.blogspot.com.au/

http://www.cnngo.com/sydney/visit/reasons-melbourne-liveable-257261

http://www.theage.com.au/travel/destination/australia/victoria/melbourne/melbourne